Adam Phillips on Desire, Satisfaction and Not Getting What We Want

“How much of our so-called mental life is about lives we are not living...the lives we could be leading but for some reason are not. What we fantasize about, what we long for, the experiences, the things and the people that are absent.” Let me begin by referencing a memory I’m sure we all share. A sudden, lush romance, passion. Love, even. Quickly leads to an imagined future, possibilities of our new self, coupled. And then, suddenly, silence. That long, distilled silence that proceeds a breakup. But we don’t understand it, we certainly don’t want to accept it. As we cycle through phrases [...] Continue reading


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