Love is the accumulation of small things over time, not grand gestures.
Show your love everyday, in these easy ways.
- Go out of your way, physically—geographically, even—to be in her presence. Even if it’s just for a day or an hour. Get to her.
- Let him answer first—and talk as long as he wants—when you both, simultaneously, ask “How was your day?”
- Snuggle up close and take joy in the warmth, touch, and smell of her skin. Notice (and adore) her scars and freckles (and errant hairs, we have a few). Holding, touching, pushing closer.
- Out of the blue, email him about something that reminded you of him. Something lovely. People love to know they are seen and being thought of—and even more, they love to be associated with lovely things.
- Suspend your ego and put yourself in her shoes, in her situation, and in her mind. Imagine what she is going through and feel her feelings, not yours. And still, listen while she talks even if it’s not about what it’s about.
- Let yourself be loved, let him get to you, affect you, and let him see he gets to you and affects you, intellectually, romantically, sexually.
- Give her something important to protect; a secret, a special keepsake, a glimpse of you being your very imperfect—but not lazy—self. Vulnerability, honesty and revealing our true selves is so important.
- Rub his shoulders, without being asked or prompted, just because you want to touch him and ease his tension and because touching him makes you happy.
- Notice something about her, something unique, something positive, and reflect it back. “You shut your eyes when you laugh. I love that.”
- Take the middle seat, save the last cookie, wait to start the movie. Buy strawberries out of the blue to share. Do things that make her that much happier. Sacrifice the little things. Be happy to do it, expecting nothing in return.
Loving someone else is the best feeling in the world because it makes things visible, things we would never otherwise see or enjoy.
Make it active, alive, and real. Show your love.
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