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The 13th Annual Awards for Descriptive Words

Descriptive words

This year’s 13th Annual Awards for Descriptive Words brought together all of the most illustrious Words from the current and former ages under a sparkling night sky, filtering through on the bold, regal red carpet.

This evening’s ceremonies featured new awards to highlight the talent of fresh, young stars— Adjectives and Adverbs alike—bright with description, as well as a few categories to honor and thank old favorites who have illustrated Nouns and Verbs for ages.

As the Words arrived, they paused and poised on the carpet, the more vampy Adverbs allowing the press and photographers to take lingering looks at their “-lys” that trailed behind. The Adjectives were a more bold bunch and popped poses with frenzy and abandon.

There was a bit of an upstart when possibly the most famous Adjective, ____, showed up on the arm of the very famous Noun, ___, a match that seemed as hollow as the silence that surrounded it. There will be much talk about this tomorrow, I promise you. They both looked glowing. Not a cliche in sight.

In addition, a newly single ____, arrived, with much boldness, in a warm velvet suit and a smile. Apparently, his split from ______ has not tarnished his appetite for being in the spotlight. He is up for the award for Best Comeback.

Once inside, the crowd was welcomed by the Host, ______, a controversial choice, but one seen as imminently necessary as the Adjectives wanted to appeal to a younger audience for both viewership and interest in the grammar profession.

The Host launched a few jokes to start the evening, making fun of the now well-known incident involving ____ and an accidentally negated sentence—of course, the short and tabloid-friendly relationship between ____ and ____.

The audience warmed up, the Awards began. The evening commenced with an award for the Most Inventive Re-purposing of a Verb, a category that angered the Verb community when it was announced, but peace was brokered when it was decided that the Verb Awards would also honor a descriptive Word for its most inventive reuse of an Adverb and Adjective.

The Award went to ____, a surprise considering that ____ and _____ were also up in the category and presumed favorites. The award was presented by ____, an Adverb who, at the 12th Annual Awards, became famous for being the first non-“ly” adverb to win in a category long-dominated by “ly” adverbs.

Coming off this fan favorite were more technical awards, Best Dangling Modifier, Best Prepositional Phrase, Most Descriptive Word in a Minor Sentence, and so on.

Anticipating the interest waning, the producers then ran the Tribute to Past Descriptive Words, highlighting, ____, ____, ____, among others as words that were no longer used in modern sentences. They are gone, but not forgotten. There were many watery eyes.

The big winner of the evening, of course, was the Most Positive Contribution to an Emotion. 

The winner, as predicted, was, ___, seated in the front with her husband and other common emotional Words. Meanwhile ____, who didn’t win despite being nominated a record six times, slunk in his chair. Surely this will cause further speculation that negative descriptive Words will never be able to take home an award in this category.

The night ran a little long, but attracted half a million more viewers than last year, which was deemed a success for the producers. It was later judged that Host ____ did a mature job running the evening.

The 46th Annual Awards for Nouns will be held in September, and the 52th  Annual Awards for Verbs on July 4th.

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